At the height of my alcohol and cocaine addiction, I led an unstructured, myopic life. I was uber-focused on getting drunk and high. Other things were a distant second to using. Relationships, children and career weren’t prioritized. I careened from one binge to the next and did and said whatever was necessary to continue to get high. Anyone who has struggled with addiction can relate. Get high, stay high my credo, and to Hell with everything else. My self-medication was aimed at obliterating the part of me that worried about the ultimate consequences of my lifestyle. I held to an ongoing thoughtlessness while embedded in a culture of addictions that blunted my value system and exalted the addicted life.

But avoidance doesn’t make problems disappear, and the consequences piled up: Divorce, financial destruction and custody issues. The IRS came calling for back taxes and I was left reeling. These consequences served as a wake-up call, pushing me toward sobriety. But recovery was only the beginning. Fifteen years of self-medication left me ill-suited to cope with a responsible everyday life. Suddenly, I had to think about what I was doing. I had to deal with problems head on. And most of all, if I wanted to stay clean and sober, I had to strategize and remain watchful over my emotions, my day-to-day activities and who I gave my time to. Not doing so could lead me to relapse and relapse was life threatening.

For those in early recovery, self-reflection, awareness and planning are all essential to avoiding relapse. If one is feeling anxious, depressed or stressed then coping skills need to be developed to cope without self-medication. What am I feeling? Why am I feeling it? How long has the feeling existed? What can I do about it? These questions are antithetical to those with substance use disorders (SUD) as in the past we self-medicated these feelings at their onset.

In early recovery, maintaining self-awareness is crucial. One helpful tool is HALT. HALT is an old and oft-used but pertinent reminder for those in early recovery to practice self-care. Self-care precludes dys-regulation. Don’t allow yourself to be consistently hungry-angry-lonely-tired. Good sleep, consistent healthy nutrition, exercise and keeping company with other recovering peers while coping with anger to ease its poisonousness are all important to ongoing recovery.

People with SUD need to be thoughtful about who they spend time with. Are you putting yourself around other people in recovery? Do the people you spend time with respect your recovery or are they inclined to challenge it or offer you alcohol or drugs? If someone purposely does this to me then I consider it akin to someone putting a gun to my head. I know this sounds dramatic but my life will surely come asunder if I pick up again.

People in early recovery need to be thoughtful about where they are going as well. Any place where it’s likely that substances are abused is to be avoided. In our society alcohol is omni-present so I know it’s very difficult to avoid completely, but it’s needlessly triggering to be around people drinking excessively. When I first tried to get sober, I stubbornly insisted on maintaining my old associations with using friends. The result: relapse. I needed to accept that being around alcohol and drugs led to using them.

Recovery doesn’t happen spontaneously; we need to make it happen. Support networks can help immeasurably, including therapy, structured treatment, self-help groups, sponsors and just talking to another recovery-knowledgeable person can help. I still remember the encouragement from many of these sources when I was feeling alone and broken. The message: “don’t quit, stay with it. Much better days ahead.” This all turned out to be true.

Over time I maintained my self-reflection, and made absolutely sure I was keeping my recovery safe at all times. As I did so, through consistent vigilance, my recovery gained traction and life started to change for the better. Recovery became drilled in, more intuitive; my new normal. If you remain vigilant, your life will improve exponentially in ways you couldn’t have imagined back in your addicted days. Stay with it!